Bullying. It’s always been in schools, sure. But today it is far beyond what we went through growing up.. Kids are being physically beaten, tormented and mentally abused so much that the suicide rate for middle schoolers and teens is doubling each year. And sure,we can start programs, or add more funds to school for guidance counselors or whatever, we can continue to put a band-aid on this huge problem or we can actually stop the problem by WAKING THE FUCK UP.
We have to get back to real parenting and real education. We have to take the power AWAY from our kids and give it back where it belongs, to our teachers, coaches and parents. This, “every child has a voice” and we must not hurt anybody’s feelings is doing so much harm to our kids that it scares the shit out of me as it should to any parent. Kids have feelings, and they need to be hurt sometimes. Kids need to be called out at a young age when they misbehave or are disrespectful. No parent wants to see our child sad, or left out, but if they don’t learn disappointment or discipline when they’re young, why do we assume they’ll be ok with it as they get older. Why don’t we see that ignoring “mean kid” behavior young, only grows worse with age as we ignore it.
Parents are in the delusional state that their children do no wrong. Teachers can’t be honest or blunt. They can’t say that Hannah is a ringleader of a mean girl circle because that could result in the TEACHER being punished. Teachers also can’t touch. IF a fight breaks out and the school resource officer pulls a child by his collar he is forced to resign from his position because he “touched”. It doesn’t matter that the kid was breaking every rule by standing on a chair calling another kid a loser…. nope, lets ignore the kid’s asshole behavior and focus on the adult who took control over a situation. Kids are just being kids, right? Sure. They’re being kids. But if my kid is ever calling another child a loser, or provoking a fight while standing on the damn table in the cafeteria, I would appreciate someone pulling his sorry ass off the damn table and asking what the fuck is wrong with him. I can pretty much guarantee my kids will prefer any school punishment over the consequences at home.
No Carol, that doesn’t mean I beat my children. It is simply that they WILL know right from wrong.
But schools today enforce the Zero Tolerance Policy. Zero tolerance in schools is stated as “giving students harsh punishments regardless of the circumstances” .... REGARDLESS. OF. THE. CIRCUMSTANCES. Seems fair right?
Well ya know what, I have zero tolerance too…ZERO TOLERANCE TO BULLSHIT. Zero Tolerance that we’ve seen discipline go down, and bullying go up. I have zero tolerance to zero tolerance.
A couple years ago a third-grade student was a jerk. A bully. He spit in food, put his finger inches away from other kids faces laughing at his obnoxious game. He would call kids names softly so authority wouldn’t hear. And one day a kid was tired of it and punched the kid in the face. STANDING OVATION OVER HERE DUDE! Good for you! But did that bully get taught a lesson? Of course not! His parents went running to the office and he, of course, became the victim. The bully gets to stay in school and the other child was suspended. Help me understand how that is right?
All zero tolerance teaches is for the good kids to tolerate bad behavior and pick up the slack for everyone else. The bad kids get stronger. They realize quickly they can get away with anything. Authority doesn’t matter so certainly other kids’ feelings are obsolete. We took physical harm out of the equation so now kids fight with words and social media, which to me is far worse than getting punched in the face. Physical bruises heal, emotional wounds scar.
We can’t control what our kids do behind our backs, but half the time, these little assholes are throwing red flags in the air right in front of them, yet parents remain blinded.
I watched a kid push my kid so hard in soccer that a penalty was called. Not a little shove, but a 2 handed push. I of course was the parent at the 6 year old soccer game yelling, “Push the kid back ACE!” because not only do I discipline my kid, I discipline my husband by embarrassing him at pretty much any sporting even our kids are involved in by my yelling. And I was probably too vocal when I voiced how I would love to see the kid push my little Teddi down so I could have an excuse to put my finger in the oblivious mother’s face and ask her if she’d like me to push her as well…Let’s just say my husband was relieved to see that it didn’t happen. But here’s the kicker. The glimpse into the future. This little ass pushed his way through the game. Literally. But The minute that whistle blew, and the game was over, the kid cries and gets “hurt”. There was no one by him. He cried because he lost. He was coddled because he was “hurt”. Instead of his parents saying get up and shake hands, they ran to make sure he was ok. The bully as usual, became the victim.
Zero Tolerance saves the bullies. These bullies are usually weak little shits that can run their mouth, and they run it and run it. There are countless stories people can share of people not being able to take it anymore and its human nature to fight back. Circumstances matter. No one is saying let’s bring physical punishment back to schools, but self defense doesn’t always mean hitting second.
My niece is the current victim of a bullying. The nasty things I’ve heard and read are nothing but ignorant and appalling. Calling her the N word and trying to bring her down in every way. If she punches it’s because she’s emotionally broken and her sadness turned angry. And, if she’s suspended because she threw the FIRST and LAST punch, you can damn well know I’ll be by her side cheering and high fiving. We aren’t going to let this bully become the victim. Hell no! We are going to let the Victim be VICTORIOUS.